Life beyond 30 is not that scary, really?!
We are unable to restrain growth and aging. It’s like they have their own way of life, and for those born in the 1980s, some would have entered into their 30s.
There’s an old saying “you’ll be independent when you reach 30”. Some may beg to differ, but many 30 years old should assume the responsible for our own actions, be sure of their personal goals and directions.
Many of those who were born in the 1980s will be entering their 30s if they have not already crossed it. Now that they are in their 30s, they would have experienced some of life’s challenges and learned from it too. They are no-longer have that boisterous youthful energy, lost their idealism and maybe even their smile. Instead they carry with them life’s pressure, a career that’s reach plateau, family burdens, fear in marriage and the gradual dissatisfaction with the reality.
They once believe, that hardwork alone is able to overcome all of life’s challenges; they also believe they can find true love even though they do not own a car, have money or a house. But when the reality of their careers remaining stagnant and they start losing hope in their long search for love, can the 30 years old look at life and say with conviction “I am still young and I am not afraid of failure”?
In this article, we look that the stories of the 30 years old and these may be the same things that cloud and surround our lives.
Changing jobs, to do or not to do?
Ah Kwan just turned 30 years old, after his graduation he worked in the media industry for 5 years. In the last few years, he notice that his circle of friends seem to have progress well in their careers. He too decided to try and make a change for the better.
In the 5 years of his working life, from being filled with confidence to the lack of enthusiasm, he learnt and thought that’s just the reality of life. Is this success and accomplishment? In that short time, he has successfully paid off a locally assembled car in 5 years, he also started paying for a housing loan in the last 3 years (with another 25 years to go). He also comforted himself, “Being an ordinary person is also a blessing.
There are many who are jobless, and are without a car and a house”. But deep down inside, Ah Kwan’s not satisfied with an ordinary life, there is still a gentle fire of passion in him. As such, he wants to change life’s direction at age of 30, and enter the hottest job market – real estate.
During this time, Ah Kwan started flipping the newspaper to search for a relevant job. Most employers were looking for someone with industry experience or industry related certifications and qualifications. But much to his surprise, it seems there may actually be checkpoints when it comes to our careers, and many employers were looking for someone under the age of 30.
He thought to himself, isn’t a 30 year old exactly whom the workplace demands, someone who is more mature in their thinking and stable? But are the 30 year olds already considered elderly or are poor learners? He starts to think it must be a conspiracy amongst the employers because to hire a younger workforce, they do not need to pay high salaries; while those who are 30 years old may carry with them a ‘baggage’ and expect a higher salaries; the 30 years old may have experiences, but would they be willing to listen, unlearn and relearn?
Ah Kwan gave the situation some thought, without the relevant industry experience, he would be sure to hit some snags during interviews, he would be pressured to take up a lower than expected salary, and to endure a change in his working environment. If he’s unable to adapt to his new environment, he would need to find a new job and that would be a waste of valuable time. At the age of 30, it is a very important time of our lives. As we will most likely retire at around 50 years old, we would only have a little over 20 years to accumulate our wealth.
He said, “If we are not able to change our life, then we must be able to accept the compromise”. We all know that age is not a limitation, but it’s like an elder who gives you advises and accompanies you throughout life’s journey, where at the age of 6 its kindergarten, at the age of 13 secondary school, age of 22 start working, at the age of 30 maturity, etc. You are to achieve a certain status at the particular age.
What about happiness?
At 30, there are a lot of people who are enjoying a good career and a joyous family. Azhar is such a person. Staying is a 3 storey bungalow with his 2 kids and owns 2 luxury cars.
Azhar shared, since he had a family and 2 kids, his life is never his alone. Many a times, he has had to settle his child before he can decide whether if he can head out. He had a nanny sometime back to take care of his kids, but after reading about the misappropriate handling of children by nannies in the papers, he felts its’ best to take care of them himself.
His elder son who is 6 years old is in Kindergarten during the day. In the afternoons, he would send them for art and music classes. He feels comforted every time he sees his kids holding a drawing that’s well done. But he also questions and worries if he’s putting too much pressure on the kids and as a result, they are not able to enjoy their childhood.
That’s because Azhar is a kampong boy, and his childhood memories were those of running free in the woods and rapids, and those where the best happiest days of his life.
Looking at his neighbours and how they are talking about pre-school education and prenatal courses, he felt troubled and questioned, is it really necessary for us to prepare our kids at such a young age? He felt he was able to get through life without having to attend any classes. Parent sends their children to school at a very young age and enrols them in various extra curriculum classes after school.
Azhar raised a question : “Theirs is a need to encourage learning and knowledge at a young age like learning art, music, ballet, etc. Our expectations today have increased as compared to yesteryears, but when we send out kids to these extra classes, do we expect them to all become future designers ? As a result, wouldn’t there be an imbalance in our society? Are kids nurtured to fulfil the dreams and wishes of their parents?”
“At thirty, I established my stand; At forty, I had no delusions; At fifty, I know my destiny; At sixty, I knew truth in all I heard; At seventy, I could follow the wishes of my heart without doing wrong”, these were the wise words of Confucius and are also the guiding principles of his life, which has now become my personal goals. Of course, not everyone wants to become like Confucius or a sage. But these words have also become our standards for evaluating the different life stages and its goals.
In our busy lives, we spend very little time to think about the meaning of life or our personal life goals. We work from day to day, and on our off days rest and recharge. There is a limited time in this life journey we are on, how can we accomplish our hopes, dreams and beyond in our lifetime.
人生30不可怕
年龄不总是闲着，它像有生命似的，80后出生的人，就这样走入30岁了。
俗话有说“三十而立”，很多人对此有着不同的见解。但较多人的说法是，一个30岁的人，应该有自己的本领，或能独立承担责任，又或确定了自己的人生目标与发展方向。
现时，迈入人生30大关的，正是在80年代出生的人们（俗称80后）。如今已30岁的他们在经历种种磨砺后，不再年少气盛，不再怀抱理想，不再自信微笑。取而代之的是，生活重重的压力，在事业上的瓶颈，在家庭中的重担，在婚姻里的恐惧，逐渐对现实的不满。
曾经，他们相信只要努力，就能克服一切困难；他们也相信，就算没车没钱没房，也能找到最纯最真的爱情。但是，当事业仍陷入贫困庸碌时，对爱情失去憧憬时，已届30的他们，是否还能从容的说，“还年轻，不怕失败？”
在这一期，我们来看看30岁人的小故事，可能这些事就像空气 ， 弥漫在你我的周围。
工作，换不换？
阿关正式踏入30岁，打从传播学院毕业后，在媒体业上班，一待5年。近几年，看见身边同龄朋友都在事业取得成就，于是他萌起转行的念头。
他说，在5年工作生涯中，他由自信到磨灭了热诚，学到的是跟现实妥协。他不懂，这算是成就吗，还是成功？在这数年，他成功的供了国产车5年，也顺利供了房子3年（还有25年要供）。他也尝试安慰自己，“平凡就是福，很多人都在失业中，很多人都没房没车。”但是，阿关心里清楚，他不能接受自己碌碌无为的过一生，在内心偶尔还是有点点火花。所以他要在30岁转换跑道，想进入最火热的行业—地产业。
这期间，阿关在报章上翻找求职广告，他并不意外求职者被要求有经验，也不意外被要求相关科系毕业。但令他意外的是，工作竟然会有年龄的关卡，而且有蛮多是要求30岁以下的。
他心想，这是怎么回事，30岁不正是被社会要求成熟、稳重的年龄吗？现在是被定义成老年、学习不佳、寿终正寝的年龄吗？并也觉得这一定是个阴谋，所有老板串通好的阴谋，因为聘请社会新鲜人，薪水不高；而30岁人呢，有负担，薪水肯定要高些；而且有点人生经历，在职场可能会不听教。
阿关冷静反思，自己没有从事地产的经验，面试碰壁是一定的，薪水也会被压价，而且还要多花力气来适应新环境。万一适应不来，又换工作，就是浪费宝贵的时间了。30岁是很重要的年龄，因为50岁后就退休了，人生的财富就剩20年来创造的了。
他表示：“生活，如果不能改变，就要学会接受、妥协。大家也很清楚，年龄不是限制，它比较像个陪你成长的长辈，在人生旅途中给你意见，6岁上幼儿园、13岁上中学、22岁出社会工作、30岁要稳重…等，在适当的年龄应有某些成就。”
谁说幸福？
30岁，能在事业、家庭享有幸福的，大有人在。阿查，就是其中一位。住3层楼高的洋房，开2辆闪闪发光的轿车，大儿子上幼儿园，小儿子还在学步。
但是阿查却说，自从有了孩子后，生活已变得不像自己的。很多时候，要先安顿好孩子，才能决定是否外出。是可以请保姆全天照顾孩子，但是看了报上骇人听闻的报导后。他觉得，还是自己照顾孩子比较安心。
然后又说道，在幼儿园的大儿子除了上课，下午还有画画及钢琴班。每次看到孩子拿着画好的作品请他鉴赏，他都很开心孩子的出色。可是，他又心疼孩子没有玩乐的时光，担心他没有有童年。
因为阿查本身就是乡镇小孩，从小就穿梭在树林、急流，那是他人生最快乐、值得回忆的时光。
他语带疑问，现在看到左邻右里都在谈论学前教育，甚至还有胎教课程，他就觉得很困扰。难道真的要这么早、这么快，就安排孩子的前途吗？因为，以前他也没学习这么多课程，也是这么走过来了。而现在的家长，都很早将孩子踢进校园，甚至安排很多课外活动给孩子。
阿查提出疑问：“大家都觉得很多学问，都要从小开始培养，例如：美术、钢琴、芭蕾等。现在的社会已比过去要求得更多更高，但是大家一窝蜂去学，难道以后的世界，都是艺术家的世界吗？社会难道不会失去平衡吗？孩子难道都是生来完成父母梦想的吗？”
“三十而立，四十而不惑，五十而知天命，六十而耳顺，七十而从心所欲，不逾规”，这话是出自孔子，也是他给自己的人生评价，或自我的期许。当然，不是每个人都想当孔子或圣人。但这些话已成为后人，对人生不同阶段的评价或目标。
在忙忙碌碌的生活中，其实每个人都已很少时间来想生命的意义了，或人生要完成什么，只能有工就做，假日就睡觉休息。但是，生命是由限度的旅程，我们要怎样在有限的时间内，完成自我的想法，或实现无限的梦想。
